Jo Cool Mama

It was a nice day out and a friend of mine called to see if we wanted to hang at the park for a bit so our kids could play. Sounded like a super idea! We all met up at the park and we chatted in the cool shade while the children played on the playground. We watched people come and go with their children - we even helped one lady leave because she felt like she was going to pass out and needed help getting back to her car. Don’t worry - we made sure she was fine to drive! She lived close and just needed to go and rest, but her two-year-old was being a typical kid who did not want to leave - and that’s when she asked for our help. Poor lady - I hope she’s feeling better! Then there was a mother who was standing next to the swings sucking on her cancer stick - thanks lady! It wasn’t until Sam had asked her to push him on the swing that I saw the cancer burning in her left hand. I’ll give her credit for asking me if it was OK to push Sam on the swing and I had said it was, but I hadn’t yet seen the smoke of doom. Then she got into a swing with her daughter and swung with the stupid white trash cigarette hanging out of her mouth! Not to mention Sam was on the swing next to her!

Anyhow - my friend and I chatted and enjoyed the weather when these two characters walked up to the playground in full metal detecting gear looking like two mega nerds who need a life! Coming to a playground in the middle of the day while children were playing to do what? To find what? At one point the male metal detector had heard something in his extra large headphones and the lady metal detector ran over to see - oh, very exciting! The lady reached into her satchel and pulled out a rod of some kind to examine the ground even further. We watched on and waited to see what the heck they were going to pull out of the densely-packed wood chip floor of the playground. They were so into this one spot at one point that they had put down their big fancy looking metal detectors to focus more attention to the dirt. I wondered aloud how one of the mega nerds would have acted if one of the children would have come up and touched their equipment. I mean, the facts are they’re at a playground where small children play, and small children love to touch large flashy things. It was so beyond inappropriate for them to be there while children were playing! At one point I was sitting on the edge of the playground with Jack when the lady waving her metal detector passed by. I was in her path to the fortune she was about to find there on the playground, and I wondered if she was going to walk right over me or go around. She went around and flashed a friendly smile. They didn’t seem mean or anything of that nature, but people become freaky when they have expensive things around children that want to touch… Sam is that kid! I was totally surprised that he didn’t attack them with his thousand “Why?” questions and investigate their equipment with his idle hands.

My friend had said that once before a different man had come to explore the playground with metal detecting gear and it was during the time small children were running around and having fun… Creepy. Strange people need to know their boundaries and going to a park during playtime is not a place to be! I didn’t bring my camera to the park, *bad parenting - wink* so I used my cameraphone to snap a shot of the lady metal detector in action. The picture isn’t great, but like I said it was a camera phone. And, yes - that’s the lady.

To put the cherry on top - while we were walking to our cars, the children running ahead of us almost ran into a couple of teens macking all over one another! We yelled at the children to stop just before they walked in on mommy and daddy there having a good time. We noticed Jack’s shoe had fallen off when we got back to our cars and my friend had gone back to retrieve it. When she got back to the cars she reported that it was worse! She said they were pretty much having s-e-x. In the park, in the middle of the day?! Give me a break - what is wrong with people? So, we can’t take our children to the playground because we have smoking mothers swinging with their children - the cancer stick just hanging out of her mouth! *class* We have strange folks with high tech equipment scanning the playground for the one thing that’s going to make them rich! We have teens having s-e-x for the whole world to see… Then the lazy asses cannot even bother to clean up after themselves! Smoking mom threw her butt on the ground for a toddler to pick up, high tech nerds digging holes and leaving them and teens just think it’s fine to leave the used condoms in the playground! Nice…

On a lighter note - “cute” is what happens when these two kids get together…

Time flies when you’re having fun - this statement has never been truer than with my children. My itty bitty baby just turned one and I cannot believe how fast these past two years have gone! One second I’m pregnant and the next he’s turning one! Whiplash! Jack has brought us so much more joy than I could ever try to explain. He is awesome and the combination of both boys makes life so much more exciting!

August 6, 2008 -  we hit the beach in Tahoe for some fun in the sun! It was an awesomely sunny day and the water was refreshing from the summer heat. It was Jack’s first trip to a Tahoe beach (I don’t know why we put it off so long) and he loved it!

We were able to meet up with Sam’s little friend and her mother - they had been up there camping and it was their last day there. So, while dad and uncle packed up, mom and daughter came and hung out with us for a few hours! Everything is so much more fun with friends.

August 7, 2008 - Jack’s pool party! A gathering of friends made an evening at the pool a ton of fun! Poor Jack was so tired and did not want to partake in the photo shoot. I tried to get a picture with Jack and each one of his gusts, but the turnout wasn’t too great as Jack was screaming in almost every picture. The party was a lot of fun and I believe everyone had a great time. Even though I forgot the gift bags at home… oops!

August 8, 2008 - Jack’s birth date. I woke up that morning and thought, “Wow, here we are - one year later.” My tiny little infant is a big guy now! His first year was great but I know that every year to follow will be more awesome then the last. I am so proud of my little fella - he is sure a special guy! We had a family BBQ to celebrate his birthday… Lots of fun!

Jack’s first year collage was the party gift for all the grandparents at the BBQ we had… I didn’t forget these gift bags - yay!

*Thanks Grandma!*

Here we have Joe Cool all American boy sitting in the all American mini-van
flashing his American sign language for “I Love You!”
He knows he’s adorable! Check out the natural pose!

Here is mister freedom - almost! Learning to walk with the help of Grammy’s walker.
He’s is totally styling it and this little trend setter will have all the babies sporting Granny’s walker!

The latest in dance moves! Sammy’s DVD “Sammy rips it up” will be in stores soon!
Your toddler too can dance like Sammy!

It’s what all the babies are doing now, and the shelf life is amazing!

Brother’s 101 - every little brother wants to be just like his big brother.
I sure hope Jack learns to wear his sunglasses properly though…

My brother, a father, has never seemed to figure out the key to little kids. He does a great job with them, but I doubt he even knows it. He has a power of intrigue about him that the kids love! He’s a cool guy and the children love him! They always have - when we were younger, and I needed help with a baby-sitting job Paul stepped in and went to work for me. He baby-sat two boys, who were about 8 and 4 years old. They had a blast with Paul! They played and goofed around and even break danced to Michael Jackson! (This is where Paul blew out his knee… All MJ’s fault!) Anyhow, the point is when I returned to my baby-sitting job the boys asked for Paul to come back! But, even way back then Paul was uncomfortable around small children and did not want to return - plus, it was my job and my money! (a little selfish) Now, as a father and an Uncle he has the children in the palm of his hand and has no idea! His daughter is older now and he relates better to her now that she’s 9. My boys were all over him! Though he let them, and I know he enjoyed them, I could see the awkwardness he suffered through. He loves his nephews and it was clear when he played with them - even when Sam (4 years old) was naked!

My brother also has no problems avoiding the subject or flat out lying to the children to get them to do what they need to do. Father’s Day, Scott and Sam, Paul and his daughter (Keirra) went to ride the train in town. Sam loves the trains! He never wants to leave them - NEVER! So, when it was time to go home and Sam said he wasn’t ready, Unca Paul stepped in and said, “We’re just going to the bathroom; you can come back after.” Scott just looked at him and laughed. Then, when Sam was talking about babies and how Jack came out of mommy’s tummy - my brother quickly said, “You know babies come from Sears!” Then, at dinner one night, we were talking about some show on tv and the word “sperm” came up. Paul’s daughter looked over at him and asked, “What’s sperm?” and my brother answered, “Something you buy at Sears.” I wonder if Sears knows how much they have to do with spawning?

Sammy really loves his Unca Paul! Unca Paul is cool with pirate style tattoos and a motorcycle! Although, if you ever met my brother on the street you would never guess him to be a tattoo wearing, motorcycle riding bad-ass. (look at the picture) Sammy was role playing while we were visiting with Unca Paul and he assigned us all titles… I was the “Mommy” Paul was the “Daddy” Jack was the “Baby” and Sammy was the “Uncle.” He had his “cell-a” phone in his pocket, just like his Uncle, and he walked around and acted just like his Uncle. It was really cute! Later, when Unca Paul came over to our house, as soon as Paul walked through the door Sammy was yelling, “Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!”

I love the fact that my children love my brother - who wouldn’t? It’s equally important to me that my brother love my children. Paul goes out of his way to play with them and talk to them and spend time with them. He may not to know what to do with them, but he puts effort into being their Uncle. I just wish he lived closer so he could be around his little fan club more - that includes me!

Sammy says, “Happy Father’s Day!”

…with his “Squinty Face Syndrome.”

We had gone to the airport to pick up Unca Paul this morning and Sammy wanted to take his daddy and Unca Paul on the local train ride!
“Squinty Face Syndrome”still had a hold of Sammy’s expressions.

Unca Paul begs his little fearless nephew not to jump off the moving train!

This guy doesn’t look like he’s enjoying Father’s Day too much…
He too seems to be inflicted with “Suqishy Face Syndrome.”

Cannot forget about the itty bitty! Jack wants to wish his daddy a Happy Father’s Day too!
Although, a little hard to speak with cracker mouth…

Sammy is cracking us up! His questions are so pure and his brain is so hungry to learn about everything. Sammy wants to know the answers to the universe and I love that about him! I really hope he never grows out of this inquisitive stage. Sam is also finding himself, and his name is very important to him. I call him Sam often, and he’ll correct me, “Call me Sammy Schrantz!” He won’t talk to me until I back track and say, “Oh oopsie, Sammy Schrantz, where are your socks?” I love that about him too - how could I not? He’s who he is and he has empowered that! Go Sam! Oh… I mean, Go Sammy Schrantz!

Sammy’s question of “Why?” can go on forever, but my favorite “Why?” question is when Sammy sees someone with a baby and asks (every time), “Why do you have a baby so much?” After the targeted person tries to answer that, Sam will hit them with, “I have a baby! His name is Jack!” As the targeted person starts to say something about that being cute, Sam has forgotten what they answered about having a baby so much and will hit them again, “Why do you have a baby so much?” That’s when the targeted person looks to us with “Help me!” screaming in their eyes. I think Sam is trying to figure out why so many people have babies - and not just his own family. Questions for the universe!

Talking about questions for the universe… (cover young eyes) I was in the bathroom, and anyone with little kids knows that is no longer a private place, and Sammy wanted to know if I was going poo - because I was sitting down. He announced to me, “Pee is for standing and poo is for sitting!” So, I came back with the facts, I am a girl and girls sit to pee. I continued with the fact that boys have a penis and girls do not. Sammy, now very intrigued, said, “Boys need a penis to pee standing and girls need a virgina to pee sitting?” I was proud he understood, “Yep.” Then Sammy hit with a one two punch to the funny bone, “Mommy, do you have a hairy penis?” If I wasn’t already peeing - I would have peed my pants! I told him I did not - don’t want bizarre rumors going around if Sammy leaked out that his mommy has a hairy penis! I then told him to go ask daddy - because I wanted to share. He, so proud of himself, goes running out into the living room yelling, “Daddy! Mommy has a hairy penis!”

“I Love You”

(sign)

Sammy is into the “Why?” phase of growing up.

Last weekend we went to visit my cousin who lives way out in Fernley, Nevada. In the car driving out there Sammy asked the obvious, “Why does Mary Jo live way out here?”

*I added the heck in the title for more pizazz!*

My cousin married a guy named, Charlie Green. Sam asked, “What’s your name?” and so Charlie replied, “Charlie Green.” Later Sam said thoughtfully, “Why is Charlie Green?”

Jack was goofing around with Charlie Green and pointed at him as if to say, “You’re not green!”

Charlie found this wild animal roaming their nine acre lot and was wondering if we knew what it was. “Have you ever seen one of these before?”  Then something really weird happened…

Alien dog from the dwarf planet Pluto landed and she wanted to know, “Why is Charlie Green when in fact I can see him with my doggie black and white vision and I clearly see that he is either white or gray. This is a puzzling mystery and I was sent here to find the answer.” My cousin loved the alien dog so much she decided to keep her - never telling the truth behind Charlie Green’s name… (OK - so I know I’m a dork.)

Obbie Goobie - sleepy little fella… He didn’t sleep well the night before. Then we left the house early to get some shopping done, and head out to my cousin’s place. He’d only taken about thrity minutes worth of nap all day! The tiny little itty bitty was pooped! As he zoned out in the car you can see the question still lingering on his little mind, “Why is Charlie Green?”

I knew Sam was going to be a boy the moment I realized I was pregnant. It was meant to be - as a young girl dreaming of my future I predicted having a boy, and naming him Sam. It seemed so real when I would talk about it to my friends and then as I grew up and realized I didn’t want children - I wrote Sam off as a silly childhood fantasy. When, surprise, I got pregnant I just knew it was Sam. Then when we planned a second child and I got pregnant - I got the girl vibe. Probably because I wanted a girl this time. Everyone around me got the same vibe but the ultra sound showed a penis - and once again we were expecting a boy. After the shock that I was wrong, and after freaking out about having two boys and thinking the worst about fighting - we were excited! Jack was born and he’s awesome! I still feel the desire to spawn another like me - a girl to share girl stuff with, someone to bond with in a way only two girls can.

My friend, who has a five-year-old son, gave me the great news that they are expecting their second in July! Then I got the message that the baby was a girl - and instant envy set in. A good envy. I got excited because I knew that finally I would be able to go baby girl shopping! I went, I shopped and both my mother and my husband were forced to cut me off… it was sad. My friend also lives nearly 500 miles away from me…again, sad. So, I bought her a few dresses, a few hats, a sleeping gown, a couple blankets and a few little shoes… I was on a girlie high looking at all the cute little girl things - because the cute factor is all in the girl stuff!

I get to see the bundle of pinky joy a couple weeks after her birth (planned c-section) and I just cannot wait! I am thinking that seeing the cute little female will worsen the desire to create - but I am positive that when I have to deal with the two Boyz at Disneyland that desire will be snuffed for a while… possibly forever…. Who knows…